At the core of many of us we have decided to believe in one of the two
1- Our choices define our life - We like to believe that the choices that we make, makes up for the life we live. We question our choices and understand its potential of cause and effect on our quality and direction of life.
2- Our life defines our choices - We like to believe that our life has been pre-defined to be a certain way and our choices can only be in the realm of this pre-defined life. No life changing choices can be made. Life can surprise it through its own doing but our choices matter less as a whole .
The former is an active approach to life and allows for living life more intensely as one questions every aspect of the choices one (or the others around them) makes. It allows for possibilities in oneself to change the outcome of their life.The latter is a passive approach that limits the choices one has and awaits for miracles to take one into a better state of being.
As always, the problem lies when we are on the extreme end of any of those beliefs. Our choices can define our life but not always. The factors that we are born in cannot always be bypassed by intelligent choices. On the other hand if we only rely on our life to define our choices, those very choices will reaffirm and imprison the definition of life we have for ourselves.
Believing in a healthy amount of both is the key. Adapting our own agency as per the situation and allowing the situations to take their own course when required.